I find myself saying the words "if" and "then" A LOT lately. IF only we had a little more time, THEN perhaps we would have our new website up and ready to share about what we will be doing in Haiti (or what we think we will be doing...We know enough about Haiti to know that we should expect the unexpected). IF you happen to venture into my personal space or enter my horridly disheveled house in the past week, THEN you might have heard me say something like this,
"We are moving to Haiti sometime in August (still waiting on someone in Haiti to tell us exactly when) before school starts in August because we are going to be working with a school in Haiti. Well, Eric is." It is at this point that I usually get the question, "Oh and what will you be doing?" Hmmm...let me think. Probably crying A LOT (perhaps if I expect this then the unexpected will happen and I will find that living in a 3rd world country...and doing ANYTHING in that country is a piece of cake...which I will be eating along with my bonbons frequently :). Joking aside, there really are massive God sized plans swirling around in my head constantly dreaming of what I (we) hope to be doing in Haiti (crying not on the list). But if I have learned anything this year it is that "We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps" Proverbs 16:9.
The biggest, IF's and THEN's come when trying to plan our Haiti girls into our Haiti move equation. Perhaps the term "equation" isinappropriate ridiculous when discussing anything related to Haiti...especially pertaining to adoptions. The first two definitions listed for "equation" are "the act of equating or making equal" and "equally balanced state; equilibrium". I can't think of anything equal or balanced about our journey to Haiti so far or Haiti in general for that matter...except that something about living in this fallen, broken world feels more balanced to me when I am there among the brokenness.
Back to the plan that usually goes something like this, "IF the girls are permitted to live with us (while still in the adoption process ) THEN I will either be home schooling them (or perhaps just one of them) or they will attend school along with our boys where Eric will also be teaching."
"IF the girls are not permitted to live with us (while still in the adoption process) THEN we will be visiting them at their orphanage often (which is about 20 minutes from where we will be living/working/schooling) and IF it is ok with their orphanage director, THEN we plan to have the girls visit us often as well."
"IF the girls adoptions are completed before Christmas break (and IF we have the money for plane tickets), THEN we will probably come back for the holidays (when school is out) to visit family and friends and tend to necessary adoption and tax paperwork stateside."
"IF they are not adopted before Christmas, and IF the adoptions are completed sometime before school lets out for summer break, THEN we will probably return with the girls to the states for the summer months to visit, fundraise, decide at this time what we should do with our TX house and possessions that didn't join us in Haiti, and IF it is God's plan THEN Eric (and possibly the rest of the fam) will be traveling to other countries (other than Haiti and the U.S.) to do the work of the ministry there.
Lord, IF you would just come back today, THEN everything would beok as it should be. No more waiting, no more tears, no more wondering and futile planning of the future that only you know anyways. But IF we wake up in the morning and again start making plans, THEN we are trusting in your promise that you will direct our steps...each and every one! For "IF we are faithless, THEN he remains faithful" 2 Tim. 2:13... "for we walk by faith, not by sight" 2 Cor. 5:7.
"Senyè,
Sèvitè w' la pa konnen gosh ak dwat.
Menm kounye a mwen pa konnen nan ki lès nan men ou yo mwen ye.
Ke m' nan men gosh la ou nan dwat la, sa pa fè anyen.
Mwen nan men pa w'.
Sa sifi."
That's my favorite Haitian prayer that says,
"Lord,
Your servant doesn't know left from right.
Even now I don't know which one of your hands I am in.
Whether I am in the left or the right, it doesn't matter.
I am in Your hands.
That's enough."
"We are moving to Haiti sometime in August (still waiting on someone in Haiti to tell us exactly when) before school starts in August because we are going to be working with a school in Haiti. Well, Eric is." It is at this point that I usually get the question, "Oh and what will you be doing?" Hmmm...let me think. Probably crying A LOT (perhaps if I expect this then the unexpected will happen and I will find that living in a 3rd world country...and doing ANYTHING in that country is a piece of cake...which I will be eating along with my bonbons frequently :). Joking aside, there really are massive God sized plans swirling around in my head constantly dreaming of what I (we) hope to be doing in Haiti (crying not on the list). But if I have learned anything this year it is that "We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps" Proverbs 16:9.
The biggest, IF's and THEN's come when trying to plan our Haiti girls into our Haiti move equation. Perhaps the term "equation" is
Back to the plan that usually goes something like this, "IF the girls are permitted to live with us (while still in the adoption process ) THEN I will either be home schooling them (or perhaps just one of them) or they will attend school along with our boys where Eric will also be teaching."
"IF the girls are not permitted to live with us (while still in the adoption process) THEN we will be visiting them at their orphanage often (which is about 20 minutes from where we will be living/working/schooling) and IF it is ok with their orphanage director, THEN we plan to have the girls visit us often as well."
"IF the girls adoptions are completed before Christmas break (and IF we have the money for plane tickets), THEN we will probably come back for the holidays (when school is out) to visit family and friends and tend to necessary adoption and tax paperwork stateside."
"IF they are not adopted before Christmas, and IF the adoptions are completed sometime before school lets out for summer break, THEN we will probably return with the girls to the states for the summer months to visit, fundraise, decide at this time what we should do with our TX house and possessions that didn't join us in Haiti, and IF it is God's plan THEN Eric (and possibly the rest of the fam) will be traveling to other countries (other than Haiti and the U.S.) to do the work of the ministry there.
Lord, IF you would just come back today, THEN everything would be
"Senyè,
Sèvitè w' la pa konnen gosh ak dwat.
Menm kounye a mwen pa konnen nan ki lès nan men ou yo mwen ye.
Ke m' nan men gosh la ou nan dwat la, sa pa fè anyen.
Mwen nan men pa w'.
Sa sifi."
That's my favorite Haitian prayer that says,
"Lord,
Your servant doesn't know left from right.
Even now I don't know which one of your hands I am in.
Whether I am in the left or the right, it doesn't matter.
I am in Your hands.
That's enough."
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