The other day someone asked me if our girls wanted to be adopted by our family. So I thought I would share our most recent among the many letters we have received from them in the past year.
Letter from our girls received 2/23/2011
The Lord purposed this time to knit our hearts together. Not a day, not hardly an hour goes by that I do not pray for you my sweet girls. Father, please hear the prayers of your children and be merciful to us.
"Evening and morning, and at noon, I will pray and cry aloud; and He shall hear my voice."
Thank you to all our friends and family who wrote sweet notes to Marguerite for her birthday! If you missed her birthday and would still like to record a message, please feel free to do so under the comments section of her birthday post! It is so encouraging to see how many people are praying for her, and how wonderful it will be to have this record to give to her one day! We also wanted to share with you some pics our friends took while recently in Haiti with our girls!
Marguerite opening her birthday present from us
B-day outfit (Ethan made the flower headband for her)
Our beautiful girls with their bag of beauty products
Jeff and Colson (the boys we love) with Esmee and Elita Marguerite
We try to always send gifts to Jeff and Colson as well. God has burdened our heart for these boys and we would appreciate your prayers for His will for them, and that He would show our family how we should be involved.
Today is February 9th, 2011 and you are 12 years old. I had been despairing about today, but am now praising God for His tender mercies! A much sadder version of this intro had been drafted before I found out that our friends were cleared for Haiti travel, that they were going to be able to deliver your birthday gift from us, that God even orchestrated their trip to delay them one day and give them an extra day so that they would still be with you today...and that now we might have the chance to Skype with you! This is such a blessing because if this were not the case I know it is unlikely anyone around you would remember that another year of your life has passed, and you wouldn't remember either. It would just be another day of surviving orphanage life for you, and you would not even know what you missed. You have never celebrated a birthday. You have asked me numerous times, "Mom, when is my birthday?" I ask you the same question and you answer with a different month each time (both in Creole and English). This is because you don't really understand what a birthday is other than another day that makes you a different number. Days just run together, and numbers aren't very significant either. You cannot remember well enough what life was like before you were an orphan. The fact that you are still an orphan as another year of your life rolls by doesn't make it feel like there is much to celebrate. But this day is very special to us and we are celebrating you!
Today 12 years ago your birth mother gave you precious life, held you in her arms, and loved you. She was taken from this life before she could love you for long, but God did not choose to leave you orphaned. Today one year ago we were staring at your picture, realizing that with your birthday you were one year older than we had been told, and prayed for you and about becoming your forever family. We are very sad that we cannot be with you on your birthday, and even more sad that you cannot be home with us. If you were, we would let you sleep in, bring your favorite breakfast in bed...eggs with melted cheese and toast with peanut butter on top. We would let you open a present...a new pink outfit fit for a princess. It would be a special day in our house, and you would feel so special. We would wait for Dad to get home from work, and all share you favorite dinner around our table. Your brothers would hurry the meal because they would be so excited for you to blow out the candles on your cake and they would want to help. Then you would open the rest of your presents and we would enjoy just being a family, playing games, or watching a family movie all snuggled up on the couch together. This isn't happening today, but we are still celebrating you!
Magpie
We are celebrating the year we have had the privilege of getting to know you, and learning all about what makes you special. We are celebrating that you have such a joyful spirit despite all that you have suffered in your twelve years of life. We are celebrating the fact that you love Jesus, and trust that He has a perfect plan for you. We are celebrating how you love others and take care of Esmee and all the little children around you. We are celebrating that you often put others needs above your own, and that you want to make others happy. We are celebrating that this is what makes you happy...your servants heart. We are celebrating that you have many friends because you are kind and show yourself friendly. We are celebrating that you always strive to do your best, and delight in your accomplishments no matter how big or small. We are celebrating that you want to do what is right, and are sensitive and saddened when you fall short of this. We are celebrating your sweet smile that can light up a room. We are celebrating the way you are always moving and dancing about, and the way you love to sing. We are celebrating that God chose you for our family, and you are our chosen Marguerite (Elita means "Chosen"). We are celebrating that you love us too, and that you want more than anything to be our daughter, and a sister to Esmee, Ethan, and Evan. We are celebrating that you embrace having grandparents, aunts, uncles, and many, many, cousins. We are celebrating that when you look at pictures of our friends you say, "my friend too?" We pray that one day you will get to meet them all, and we pray that it is one day before your next birthday. We are celebrating you today because we love you, and we are so very proud of the young lady you are becoming. You were just a little girl last February 9th and even last April, when you reached out your arms to me over the balcony and shouted "Mama!" the first time I laid eyes on you. I will never forget that moment, and I am so blessed to have been your "Mama" this year. You are not such a little girl anymore, but we pray that there is still some of the little girl left that we first encountered when you finally come home to us. We are celebrating you today because you have taught us so much and have changed us so much! And although this has been a tough year for us all, we are so grateful for it, and especially for you.
I was thinking of how you always make me smile with your endless singing, and one song that you have sung over and over again this year came to mind and filled my heart with joy for you. And you always start out with this song, so it must be your favorite. I have known this song for years but when I re-read the lyrics, thought of you singing them in English and Creole and the meaning they must have for you, oh the tears! What a perfect song God has placed in your heart this year! Keep singing and dancing and believing that...
Over the mountains and the sea
Your river runs with love for me
And I will open up my heart
And let the healer set me free
I'm happy to be in the truth
And I will daily lift my hands
For I will always sing
Of when Your love came down
I could sing of Your love forever
I could sing of Your love forever
Over the mountains and the sea
Your river runs with love for me
And I will open up my heart
And let the healer set me free
I'm happy to be in the truth
And I will daily lift my hands
For I will always sing
Of when Your love came down
Oh, I feel like dancing
It's foolishness I know
But when the world has seen the Light
They will dance with joy
Like we're dancing now
God thank you for sharing sweet Marguerite with us this year...we pray this song over her today...that far away over the mountains and the seas of Haiti a little 12 year old girl somehow knows that there is a river running with love for her!
Sometimes...although I hate to admit it...every now and then, these thoughts creep into my mind. They often follow the e-mail or blog that post faces of other waiting children, or when one of our friends or acquaintances who started their paperwork around the same time or after us brings their child home. They usually whisper, but occasionally yell, "There are 147 million orphans out there, and if you just would have picked a different one, you could have had that one home by now!" Sometimes, though I hope it isn't true, I sense other people struggling with these thoughts about our adoptions too. It has been a long process, that's for sure. It isn't longer than some that wait for three-five years to adopt from China, but it is different. Most people don't know the child they are adopting before they come home. Most people don't go and spend time with their adoptive child. Most people don't hear their adoptive child call them "Mom", climb into their suitcase and beg to be taken home. Most people don't, but some do, and for some reason God has called us, and priveleged us with knowing our girls before their homecoming. It is easy to think about what a hardship this is, because of how it breaks our heart to leave them behind, but it is also easy to see the immense blessing as well. We have been so blessed to have priceless bonding moments with our girls in their own culture, to see them interact with their friends and nannies, to watch them worship, to read them bedtime stories, to laugh with them, to hold them, to cry with them, to pray with them, and to long with them. Most orphaned children may long for a family, but they do not often long witha family. The waiting would mean nothing without the longing...it would just be the passing of time. But it isn't just the passing of time. God declares in His word that "true religion is to care for orphans...."this is His passion! And His passion always involves His patience. It is very difficult (at least for me) to balance our passion with patience...and patience is the one thing I have never claimed to possess. I don't think God led us to adopt from Haiti just because He wanted to teach me a thing or two about patience, though I do believe that is a lifelong lesson that we won't cross off our list until eternity. No, I think we will learn a thing or two about patience, but that all this is mainly about something else. When I am tempted to dwell on thoughts of how much easier it might have been to pursue the rescue of different orphans, it is then that my Heavenly Father often whispers, occasionally yells, "What if I wouldn't have pursued the rescue of you? What if you were just a number, another face in the masses, and I thought, nope... that one will take too much time to rescue, will end up costing more than I bargained for, and might end up draining my emotions and time with nothing to show for it in the end?" But God didn't. Instead He said, "Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn't he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep." I have been reminded of this parable many times in the past few months, but have struggled with how quick and simple the rescue seems. I only wish it were as simple as finding the lost sheep and carrying it home on our shoulders to a welcome party eager to rejoice with us. But if I dig a little deeper and think about what the sheperd might have had to endure in the rescue journey and what he was sacrificing by all he had left behind, I begin to understand that it isn't "simple" at all.
Today I was reading a blog post written by my friend Cindy Foote whose family is adopting a little girl from the same orphanage in Haiti as us. She writes (more eloquently than I) about another parable from this same passage in Luke 15 about "the lost coin" and how this is related to our adoptions. She writes, "I think adoption mirrors so much of God’s love for us. Often, during our journey to Josie (who is Keemberlie on our list of "Found" kids), I think about what we’re doing to love her, visit her and make her ours and then I realize – that’s how God feels about me! And I’m overwhelmed.
The parable of the lost coin is one of three consecutive parables we see in Luke where Jesus describes the Kingdom of Heaven by depicting how much He loves the lost. He’s not indifferent to the lost. He’s welcoming. And more, He seeks them out! Willing to leave the 99 for the 1. Willing to diligently search. Willing to open arms and accept the repentant sinner. Oh for the church to be more like Jesus, both in their pursuit of the lost and the orphan." This is just an excerpt from Cindy's beautiful post that I encourage you to read. Many of the specifics she mentions are all things we have been going through in our adoption journey as well (since we are adopting from the same place). We are still waiting to receive our "confirmation number" from IBESR, so we would appreciate your prayers that it will come soon...and for patience until it does. Click the link below to go to Cindy's blog post.
I am writing all this with a mixture of emotions knowing that God really did call us to pursue the adoptions of Marguerite and Delenda (Esmee), and witnessing His provision beyond our wildest dreams every step of the way. Yet deeply feeling the longing that often seems too hard to bear, being frustrated when our family has decisions to make about the future (that are next to impossible to make not knowing when the girls are coming home), when finances are tight, and when people ask questions we can't answer. When yesterday we received yet another $1,000 adoption gift from someone that doesn't even know us. When I told Eric that this was the EXACT amount we needed for ALL the rest of our adoption fees (which had been our biggest roadblock to pursuing international adoption in the past). When we were asked to be part of a video shoot this morning telling about all God had done through the Chosen Marathon. When I couldn't tell them if our girls would be among the newly adopted kids handing out medals to the runners in the 2011 Chosen Marathon for Adoption. When I read Cindy's blog this afternoon and resonated with all she openly shared. When I received an e-mail from my missionary friends in Haiti this evening and secretly wished that I was there serving with them. When I know that Family Link is coming to do a presentation at our church tomorrow and how tempted I have been in the past to sign up for foster to adopt classes. When I think that this could be good (selfishly/falsely that it could be easier), and could open doors for another child that we might not have considered, but then realize that this would mess up our home study for the girls we are already trying to adopt. When the weight of the wait overwhelms me again and again. ALL of this (between the ugly emotions and amazing God moments, and trying to wrap my tiny brain around it all) is when I remember where we were a year ago, and how much God has taught us since, and how very thankful I am that He chose to pursue me, and how very thankful I am that He called us to pursue our girls in Haiti. Even if our girls never come home this side of Heaven...I will be forever thankful. Yes, there are 147 million (or more) orphans in our world, and we are very passionate about defending their cause...but right now leaving the 147 million in the "open country" to go after our precious two in Haiti is a good thing (and we believe it is a God thing). We pray that their rescue will soon be accomplished, for the day we will carry them home on our shoulders and call all our family, friends, and neighbors to come rejoice with us because what was lost has now been found!
