"What's up with Esmée?" is a question we get sometimes...though after 3 years some seem afraid to ask. We don't mind anyone asking. However, I have avoided other versions of this post written and rewritten in my mind for the past year for various reasons...mostly heart reasons. Another year. That is hard to believe. We just celebrated another year of life for our Much Loved girl. Yesterday was her birthday. We celebrated it as her 11th. There is a chance that Esmée is older than 11 as her birth certificate indicates she is older. But we really don't know and truly there is no way to know for sure. Socially, emotionally, and scholastically it is best for Esmée to be 11. She was the weight and size of a 4-5 year old when I first met her. She has more than doubled in size and weight since then. Even 2 years later when we first moved to Haiti she was the same height as Ethan (who was barely 7 at that time) and she weighed 10 lbs less than him. About 6 months after Esmée came to live with us permanently we began to see major growth and development both physically and mentally. We have read that sometimes children who were severely malnourished as she has suffered in her past often jumpstart puperty early once they began to rapidly receive consistent nutrition and security. This could also be the case with Esmée. We celebrated her 10th birthday (in accordance with the age we were first informed she was and age she believed herself to be last year) before we began to see major changes in her developmentally. We have prayed over talking to her about the fact that she could be older but have not felt that she is ready for that information just yet. She declared a few weeks ago, "I'm not ready to be 11. That is so big. I just want to stay a little girl." We are thankful she is able and desires to live out the childhood that once was lost. We believe this is most beneficial for her sake and love getting to spend her "little girl" days with her still. We are in no hurry for her to grow up as we missed so many years with her. Someday we will share all of these things with her, but for today we celebrate her being 11!
Esmée had a wonderful birthday yesterday. She awoke at 4:30am and came to tell me she couldn't sleep because she was too excited. I asked her if she wanted to help me decorate her cake which was still too hot out of the oven to finish the night before. The power was on at the time but went out just as we began to write "Happy Birthday Esmée". She held the flashlight for me as I decorated. Sweet memories. She asked me to write "11" after her name. Esmée couldn't wait to share her cake with all her friends at her school. She loves school and seems to be very well liked by teachers and peers (a little too well liked by the little boys whom she declares "too short and too disgusting"). While both our girls are still a few years behind academically, they are making triumphant strides and are confident and eager to surpass everyone's expectations of where they "should be". The program they are enrolled in uses an acredited English curriculum that allows them to proceed through each subject at their own pace. This has proved to work very well for our girls and other Haitian kids whose first language is not English.
Esmée and her siblings returned home from school to greet me with the news that she had the best day of school ever and that everyone gave her cards and presents and loved the cake! Such happiness. The girls best friend Faona came home with them to join in on the continuing birthday celebration. We took a beautiful walk to the beach about a mile from our house after letting Esmée open a present containing new swimgear. After splashing at the beach we came home to her favorite "American lasagna" and more presents sent from grandparents. Esmée hugged me many times yesterday telling me how happy she is and thanking me for her birthday as I told her how happy she makes us to have her in our family and how thankful we are that God gave her life!
The inexpressible joy on my daughter's face and in our hearts living and celebrating her precious life with her trumps anything else that I could say about how hard certain things have been about this journey. One year ago we found out we would have to process Esmée's adoption all over again. We were told it would not be AS difficult as the first time because we would certainly not have to be reapproved in Presidential dispensation all over again. Presidential dispensation is required due to us having biological children. This means the President (or perhaps someone in his office) has to sign off on our adoption. Typically this is the longest part of the Haitian adoption process where you can do nothing but sit and wait for that signature often for up to a year. The child's name has to be printed in the Le Moniteur (Haitian newspaper) stating that the President has signed off on the adoptive family before moving on to the next step. We were printed in the Le Moniteur in August of 2011 the first time. This step is to approve the adoptive family. IBESR is the one that approves the child. Our family has already been approved once for having biological children and nothing has changed regarding that status. Why would we have to do this again two years later while adopting the same child? We were assured that there would be no need for this again (and there shouldn't be...except for one tiny 7 letter technical issue). After approving Esmée's adoption a second time, IBESR sent us back to the President's desk simply because Esmée's last name changed on her birth certificate from her Haitian father (who ended up not found to be her bio father after a DNA test) to her deceased Haitian mother whose name she should have been given on the paperwork in the first place (because her mother was not married). Because of this last name change to correct the documents, her name must be reprinted in the Le Moniteur with the proper last name. We have now been waiting for 8 months (which is 3 months longer than we did the first time in IBESR/Presidential dispensation). Waiting...especially waiting all over again is hard. But waiting is no longer unbearable now that our daughter is with us. All we are really waiting for at this point is to be able to once and for all finish this crazy process and for Esmée to finally get to meet family and friends in the states who love her. We pray that this will happen before she passes yet another birthday!
I haven't posted many updates regarding the second adoption process because things are really different and much less complicated for us this time around. There was much injustice done in our daughter's case and there have been times of grieving and choosing not to post about those grievances because no good would come from doing so. We are slowly regaining what was lost. We serve a God of justice. We do not need to keep an account of wrongs done. Our children are learning that life isn't fair but how we respond to the life God calls us to is what matters. Esmée is with her family and doing SO well. That is what we choose to remember. We are SO blessed by God's faithfulness as we continue to seek Him through each trial and triumph in this process. Another difference this time around is that we trust and communicate well with our adoption faciliator who is favorable toward Esmée being with her family (which we are able to do lawfully under our Haitian residency permit) and has showed us much kindness in trying to process our paperwork with the least financial expense possible. Also, living in Haiti and gaining a better understanding of the culture, knowing where all those offices that our paperwork has to go through actually exist, already having been through the process once before, AND being all too familiar with living on "Haitian time" which stretches even the most patient (of which I am most definitely not) of persons to the max, has certainly helped us have a different adoption experience this time around...39 months into this thing. But whose counting?
Unfortunately, adoption paperwork on the U.S. side IS counting. We redid our homestudy at 18 months and have filed for every extension available over the last 3 years. We have no more extensions at the 3 year mark (which technically would be 36 months in June since our I-600A was officially approved on the U.S. side). We were able to file our I-600 (for a second time for Esmée) at the U.S. Embassy in Haiti this past Tuesday, May 14th in order for our U.S. approval not to expire as long as everything goes through. Once you file the I-600 the Embassy schedules a birth relative interview with whatever relative is listed on the paperwork that relinquished the child for adoption. For our Elita Marguerite this person was her bio aunt. Last time for Esmée this person was an assumed bio father which ended up not passing the interview or DNA test. Our second facilitator used what little information she had to go on in Esmée's case history to find another relative. The relative that was found and went to court to sign another relinquishment (in order for the adoption to be processed again) is a maternal grandmother. This grandmother is scheduled to appear at the Embassy on July 2nd where we will meet her with Esmée for the interview. We are excited and yet very anxious anticipating this upcoming event. Remembering to "be anxious for nothing" has been much easier this past year up until now.
The only person Esmée has ever spoken of from her past is her "grandmother". This is someone she remembers fondly and that in her memory was her caretaker before she went to the orphanage. She was at another mission/orphanage before coming to the one that we adopted her from where she lived for 4 years. Knowing this, we believe it has been at least 5 or 6 years minimum since Esmée has had any contact with this grandmother. We are anxious to see if the "grandmother" in her memory is the same grandmother that is scheduled to appear at the Embassy. We are also asking for prayer that the grandmother listed on the paperwork would be able to make the journey and be willing to make the journey to be interviewed at the Embassy. We ask for prayer for this to happen and for the interview to go well. We are expecting that another DNA test (this time for the grandmother) could be requested considering the past issues in our case. We are praying that we will not have this DNA request mainly because of the expense of having this test conducted. We are praying that it is clear in the interview that this is the maternal grandmother and that she is of sound mind enough to answer questions well. The Embassy has granted us permission to only have Esmée present and that she will not have to remain in the room with the grandmother during the interview. This made us feel much better about it because last time this was a scary thing for Esmée to have to be in a room and asked questions with someone she had not had contact or relationship with for many years. We are all excited to meet this grandmother in person and pray that this will be a sweet reunion for Esmée. We have prayed for this opportunity for the past year and we just learned last week that this may indeed happen! We appreciate prayers for all these things and especially for Esmée's heart in the process. We ask for prayer that our dispensation for having bio children will be signed soon and/or the new proposed law banning the need for us to even have to have this dispensation will be put into effect (for the sake of many other adoptions waiting on that desk as well). We praise the Lord for His grace and faithfulness throughout the past 3 years of pursuing our Much Loved girl's adoption. How could we have known 3 years ago how much calling her "Esmée" which means "Much Loved" would test our faith and our love? Oh how the past 3 years have taught and reminded us how much loved we are by the One who pursued and fought and gave up everything in order to adopt and spend forever with us!
Happy Birthday Esmée! You are worth everything we have gone through and much more! We are blessed beyond measure to call you our daughter. We are so excited to see how God is growing you up and teaching you more and more about Him each day. Thank you for being so easy to love and for loving us too! We pray that this year will truly be your best one yet! Your life and the time we have had with you has helped us to remember that life is a gift we should celebrate every single day. Thank you for sharing precious life with us!
Esmée had a wonderful birthday yesterday. She awoke at 4:30am and came to tell me she couldn't sleep because she was too excited. I asked her if she wanted to help me decorate her cake which was still too hot out of the oven to finish the night before. The power was on at the time but went out just as we began to write "Happy Birthday Esmée". She held the flashlight for me as I decorated. Sweet memories. She asked me to write "11" after her name. Esmée couldn't wait to share her cake with all her friends at her school. She loves school and seems to be very well liked by teachers and peers (a little too well liked by the little boys whom she declares "too short and too disgusting"). While both our girls are still a few years behind academically, they are making triumphant strides and are confident and eager to surpass everyone's expectations of where they "should be". The program they are enrolled in uses an acredited English curriculum that allows them to proceed through each subject at their own pace. This has proved to work very well for our girls and other Haitian kids whose first language is not English.
Esmée and her siblings returned home from school to greet me with the news that she had the best day of school ever and that everyone gave her cards and presents and loved the cake! Such happiness. The girls best friend Faona came home with them to join in on the continuing birthday celebration. We took a beautiful walk to the beach about a mile from our house after letting Esmée open a present containing new swimgear. After splashing at the beach we came home to her favorite "American lasagna" and more presents sent from grandparents. Esmée hugged me many times yesterday telling me how happy she is and thanking me for her birthday as I told her how happy she makes us to have her in our family and how thankful we are that God gave her life!
The inexpressible joy on my daughter's face and in our hearts living and celebrating her precious life with her trumps anything else that I could say about how hard certain things have been about this journey. One year ago we found out we would have to process Esmée's adoption all over again. We were told it would not be AS difficult as the first time because we would certainly not have to be reapproved in Presidential dispensation all over again. Presidential dispensation is required due to us having biological children. This means the President (or perhaps someone in his office) has to sign off on our adoption. Typically this is the longest part of the Haitian adoption process where you can do nothing but sit and wait for that signature often for up to a year. The child's name has to be printed in the Le Moniteur (Haitian newspaper) stating that the President has signed off on the adoptive family before moving on to the next step. We were printed in the Le Moniteur in August of 2011 the first time. This step is to approve the adoptive family. IBESR is the one that approves the child. Our family has already been approved once for having biological children and nothing has changed regarding that status. Why would we have to do this again two years later while adopting the same child? We were assured that there would be no need for this again (and there shouldn't be...except for one tiny 7 letter technical issue). After approving Esmée's adoption a second time, IBESR sent us back to the President's desk simply because Esmée's last name changed on her birth certificate from her Haitian father (who ended up not found to be her bio father after a DNA test) to her deceased Haitian mother whose name she should have been given on the paperwork in the first place (because her mother was not married). Because of this last name change to correct the documents, her name must be reprinted in the Le Moniteur with the proper last name. We have now been waiting for 8 months (which is 3 months longer than we did the first time in IBESR/Presidential dispensation). Waiting...especially waiting all over again is hard. But waiting is no longer unbearable now that our daughter is with us. All we are really waiting for at this point is to be able to once and for all finish this crazy process and for Esmée to finally get to meet family and friends in the states who love her. We pray that this will happen before she passes yet another birthday!
I haven't posted many updates regarding the second adoption process because things are really different and much less complicated for us this time around. There was much injustice done in our daughter's case and there have been times of grieving and choosing not to post about those grievances because no good would come from doing so. We are slowly regaining what was lost. We serve a God of justice. We do not need to keep an account of wrongs done. Our children are learning that life isn't fair but how we respond to the life God calls us to is what matters. Esmée is with her family and doing SO well. That is what we choose to remember. We are SO blessed by God's faithfulness as we continue to seek Him through each trial and triumph in this process. Another difference this time around is that we trust and communicate well with our adoption faciliator who is favorable toward Esmée being with her family (which we are able to do lawfully under our Haitian residency permit) and has showed us much kindness in trying to process our paperwork with the least financial expense possible. Also, living in Haiti and gaining a better understanding of the culture, knowing where all those offices that our paperwork has to go through actually exist, already having been through the process once before, AND being all too familiar with living on "Haitian time" which stretches even the most patient (of which I am most definitely not) of persons to the max, has certainly helped us have a different adoption experience this time around...39 months into this thing. But whose counting?
Unfortunately, adoption paperwork on the U.S. side IS counting. We redid our homestudy at 18 months and have filed for every extension available over the last 3 years. We have no more extensions at the 3 year mark (which technically would be 36 months in June since our I-600A was officially approved on the U.S. side). We were able to file our I-600 (for a second time for Esmée) at the U.S. Embassy in Haiti this past Tuesday, May 14th in order for our U.S. approval not to expire as long as everything goes through. Once you file the I-600 the Embassy schedules a birth relative interview with whatever relative is listed on the paperwork that relinquished the child for adoption. For our Elita Marguerite this person was her bio aunt. Last time for Esmée this person was an assumed bio father which ended up not passing the interview or DNA test. Our second facilitator used what little information she had to go on in Esmée's case history to find another relative. The relative that was found and went to court to sign another relinquishment (in order for the adoption to be processed again) is a maternal grandmother. This grandmother is scheduled to appear at the Embassy on July 2nd where we will meet her with Esmée for the interview. We are excited and yet very anxious anticipating this upcoming event. Remembering to "be anxious for nothing" has been much easier this past year up until now.
The only person Esmée has ever spoken of from her past is her "grandmother". This is someone she remembers fondly and that in her memory was her caretaker before she went to the orphanage. She was at another mission/orphanage before coming to the one that we adopted her from where she lived for 4 years. Knowing this, we believe it has been at least 5 or 6 years minimum since Esmée has had any contact with this grandmother. We are anxious to see if the "grandmother" in her memory is the same grandmother that is scheduled to appear at the Embassy. We are also asking for prayer that the grandmother listed on the paperwork would be able to make the journey and be willing to make the journey to be interviewed at the Embassy. We ask for prayer for this to happen and for the interview to go well. We are expecting that another DNA test (this time for the grandmother) could be requested considering the past issues in our case. We are praying that we will not have this DNA request mainly because of the expense of having this test conducted. We are praying that it is clear in the interview that this is the maternal grandmother and that she is of sound mind enough to answer questions well. The Embassy has granted us permission to only have Esmée present and that she will not have to remain in the room with the grandmother during the interview. This made us feel much better about it because last time this was a scary thing for Esmée to have to be in a room and asked questions with someone she had not had contact or relationship with for many years. We are all excited to meet this grandmother in person and pray that this will be a sweet reunion for Esmée. We have prayed for this opportunity for the past year and we just learned last week that this may indeed happen! We appreciate prayers for all these things and especially for Esmée's heart in the process. We ask for prayer that our dispensation for having bio children will be signed soon and/or the new proposed law banning the need for us to even have to have this dispensation will be put into effect (for the sake of many other adoptions waiting on that desk as well). We praise the Lord for His grace and faithfulness throughout the past 3 years of pursuing our Much Loved girl's adoption. How could we have known 3 years ago how much calling her "Esmée" which means "Much Loved" would test our faith and our love? Oh how the past 3 years have taught and reminded us how much loved we are by the One who pursued and fought and gave up everything in order to adopt and spend forever with us!
Happy Birthday Esmée! You are worth everything we have gone through and much more! We are blessed beyond measure to call you our daughter. We are so excited to see how God is growing you up and teaching you more and more about Him each day. Thank you for being so easy to love and for loving us too! We pray that this year will truly be your best one yet! Your life and the time we have had with you has helped us to remember that life is a gift we should celebrate every single day. Thank you for sharing precious life with us!
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| Esmée all ready to share her birthday May 16th, 2013 |
