Several years ago I began reading Karen Kingsbury novels. I liked her so much that I began reading every preface and dedication in her books to discover where she might derive her inspiration. It was in those pages that my heart was first drawn to Haiti. We had always talked about adoption, and have believed strongly for many years that we would adopt someday. We have considered and researched both domestic and international adoptions from many countries. However, there was something about the descriptions of the children in Haiti that drew me in, and kept my curiosity for years. I now know that her descriptions were not a mere conjure of a novelist imagination, but true depictions of Haiti, and its beloved children.
The "moms" who are dear friends, also adopting children from our girls orphanage are passing around Karen Kingsbury's "A Treasury of Adoption Miracles". It was my turn to read it this week. The last in the long list of amazing adoption stories is the Kingsbury's. They have adopted three boys from Haiti. She says, "People ask us about the transition. How do you bring children into your home who have nothing in common with you? You have different skin colors, different cultural understandings, different languages--even different food preferences. We tell them this: with much prayer. You see, we knew going into this adoption process that we would have different colors, different countries, different cultures. But we would have the same Christ and that, we believed, was enough. It was enough at the beginning, and it remains enough now. More than enough. Our primary heritage is found not in our ancestors or family genealogies or birthplaces but at the cross, in Christ alone. There's a story often told of a particularly rough storm that came up one night and left a sandy beach strewn with starfish. The next morning a child walked along the shore, stopping every few feet to pick up a starfish and fling it back to sea. An old man watched the child and finally shouted at him, "Why bother, son? There are too many starfish to make a difference!" With that, the boy picked up another starfish and looked at it intently before heaving it out to sea. Then turning to the old man, he said, "It made a difference to that one."
One of our adoption fundraiser t-shirts asks the question, "How do you reach 147 million orphans?" The answer, "One at a time!"....or as my son Evan likes to point out when people read his shirt aloud, "Yeah, well we are taking two at a time! How many are you?" Honestly, we would like to take a few more than two...and maybe we will one of these days! Right now we are praying and working toward bringing our two precious girls home. We know there will be big adjustments, and are preparing the best we can for the adjustment time...yet we know that in all these things, He is always more than enough.
Kids that are heavy on our hearts
Sisters Milange and Midrene are pre-quake adoptable orphans at HCRM. Elisabeth is very close to these girls and knows some of the background history on them. The family that was pursuing their adoption is now unable to do so. These girls will bring a lot of life to their forever family...please pray for the right family to have open hearts for these beautiful girls who long for a loving home!
Brothers Jeff and Colson are post-quake orphans that are heavy on our hearts. They are the sweetest boys and we would adopt them if it were the right situation. We are not the right family for them, but are praying there is a family out there that will open their hearts to these sweet boys, and let these boys bless them! We have no reservations about the personalities of these two although their adoption situation is not fully known to us. We are posting their picture in hopes of spreading the word about them, because we promised them we would!
I could just go on and on about Haiti, our beautiful girls, and all the precious children there, but I feel led to mention four specific children at this time. If you are reading my blog then you are probably adoption minded, know someone that is, and/or simply want to help "defend the cause of the fatherless" and spread their stories. There is a particular 12 year old boy named "Jeff" (a nickname he likes...his real name is Dennison) that I grew very fond of and bonded with on my April trip. I also adored his little brother Colson. We love these boys and if it was the right situation for our family, would have no reservations about adopting them (We have even dared to dwell on that possibility, but know it is not realistic or good to think of adopting more at this time especially with their ages being so close to our girls and being the opposite sex...not to mention another $18-20,000 we would have to raise!) Although I did bond in a sweet way with Jeff and Colson back in April, I don't believe I gave them reason to hope or believe that I was considering adopting them (although this is always the hope with all the kids). However, the hope was there for Jeff, and it grew and word got out by the time I returned in June. Other friends that traveled in May had told me that Jeff seemed very close to our girls and he was in nearly every picture with them. I know that neither Jeff, Colson, or our girls truly believed we were going to adopt the boys, but all felt that we may be considering that possibility. Shortly after arriving, we knew this was the case as many children asked me "You, Jeff's mom right?" I would tell them, "No, Marguerite and Delenda", and they would get wide eyed, cover their mouths and run off to inform all their friends. I was so burdened for Jeff and Colson who never asked but stood in the shadows waiting to hear what I would say. We loved on them all week, continuing to answer "no" when other children continued to ask if we were adopting them. It was evident to them that we loved these boys, and most the kids simply do not understand what adoption entails. Once when the question was asked with Jeff sitting next to me, I looked him in the eyes and said, "I wish I could Jeff, but we just can't". He looked down, then up at me and nodded giving me a sad smile as if he completely understood. I told them that if I was going to adopt Jeff then I would also adopt Colson. This made Colson smile big. The kids are used to seeing siblings separated often due to circumstances or ages of the siblings, but this is not the case with these boys (although they may still fear separation). There are some kids that you just get and that get you and you just naturally bond even if you didn't see it coming. Jeff and Colson are special to me in that way. Eric also enjoyed these boys and concurred that they were two of the sweetest boys at HCRM. We pray there is a family (selfishly praying for one that lives close to us!) that would allow these boys to bless their hearts and lives as they have ours! I have posted Jeff and Colson's picture (and I have a bunch more) if you know anyone that might want more information concerning their adoptions.
Now for the girls on my heart....Milange and Midrene are sisters ages 14 and 10. I've posted their picture as well (and have lots more of them too)! They were previously matched with a sweet adoptive family in the Dallas area that we have been talking to throughout this process. The adoptive mom sent care packages and many things for the girls with me when I went in April. They are good friends with our girls, so I naturally got to know them. This sweet family is now no longer able to pursue these girls, and as far as I know, the girls do not yet know this news (but will soon figure it out or be told). I am asking for prayer for them as the adoptive mom had already been to visit them, and the girls asked me about her continually on our recent trip. I knew that the adoptions had fallen through, but didn't have the heart (or permission) to tell the girls. These girls have a fairly rough background and I do have quite a bit of information regarding their situation. The fact that they are extremely healthy and lively after all they have been through demonstrates God's love, grace, and that He does have a special plan for their lives. Milange is a sweet, take charge personality (typical 14 year old) that I simply love to hang out with. I haven't seen any out of the ordinary behavior from her although she does have a strong will about her. She is very protective and loving toward her sister and others. Midrene (age 10) is extremely affectionate and simply wants someone to love her. She is very open about how she feels and usually responds in some physical way. This can be both a positive and negative for her. After observing her and spending a lot of time with her, I found that the more she felt accepted and loved by me the less clingy and touchy she became (in a very short amount of time). She did shred a shirt (and yes I mean shred...like in a hundred little pieces) I gave her, but I sensed at that time that another girl did have something to do with this as well (just couldn't prove it or get the explanation at that time). I scolded Midrene lovingly after this inappropriate behavior and told her to clean up the mess. She immediately responded in obedience and with respect and apologized. I later found out that the other girl was trying to take her shirt and calling her "little street girl" when she would not hand it over. She only destroyed the shirt so it would not be taken away. These girls have both lived in survival mode for their entire lives, and that is not going to change overnight even if their circumstance changes. However, I truly believe that in a loving, secure, home environment both these girls will flourish and bring much joy to their forever family. I love them dearly and would greatly appreciate prayers on their behalf (especially as they find out that they no longer have an adoptive family at this time).
Face to Face in Haiti-the Sequel
"Senye, Ala nou kontan se pa nou k'ap kenbe ou men se ou k'ap kenbe nou."-"Lord, How glad we are that we don't hold you, but that you hold us."
This trip was much like my last except for a few things. My husband was there sharing the experience. Our group was much smaller and I was the only one who had been there before. The familiar always lends a better feeling than the unknown and in many ways I felt like I was coming home for a visit (much like when I visit my parents and siblings at their homes...Wherever your family is...wherever there are those that love you and need you and you love them and need them, that is your home!). I knew better what to expect and was more excited now than anxious. Because our girls already knew me along with many of the other children, I had a different perspective and anticipation. And I must say our video quality was more than much improved (thanks to the skills of my wonderful husband). Eric was better prepared than I had been on my first trip since he had been reliving my endless stories with me and staring at hundreds of Haiti pictures for the past 2 months.
Haiti was sadly much the same. Tragedy and beauty mix together in that place in an all too real representation of our Maker's intentional, unmistakable, beautiful design grotesquely marred by the effects of the fallen, sinful, world in which we all live. Breathtaking landscapes widen the eyes while the cloud of dust and filth all around forces them shut. Looking beyond the endless tents and weary faces, the stench of burning trash and unmarked sewage, the mountains and hills flaunt their beauty, taunting the soul. Psalm 121:1 comes to mind as "I lift up my eyes to the hills - From whence comes my help?" . The higher the more beautiful, the cleaner the air, the cooler the breeze, and shadier the trees, as if heaven is just around the next bend. And yet, you see another crumpled woman, another crumbled home, another crying child, another and another and you know for certain that heaven is nowhere nearby.
A light rain began to fall as we neared the girls orphanage. There was a water truck at the bottom of the hill blocking our path into the drive. Eric was in the vehicle with Pastor and our luggage. I was crammed in the truck with our 5 friends and our driver Claude. Neither the water truck nor our vehicle was budging although it felt like we would topple down the steep, uneven downhill stretch at any moment. The kids sweet voices were barely audible above the rain and rolled up windows, but I could see their blurred forms through the rain covered windshield. I asked if I could "just get out", and without waiting for permission to be granted, escaped the truck. The others stayed, patiently waiting and wondering if their children were among the blurred views on the balcony now being ushered in from the rain. Once again, it was not the arrival we had anticipated! Eric had envisioned meeting the girls alongside me, but his badly sprained ankle (that had occurred at youth camp two days before our trip) did not allow him the luxury of springing his vehicle and bounding down the slippery slope. We may not speak the same language, but my girls sure think like their Mama! They didn't wait for permission either once they saw me trudging down that hill. They jumped down those stairs, escaped the gate, and ran up that hill beads a bouncing before I even made it halfway down. My first thoughts were, "I've never seen such beautiful girls!" They were all decked out in their new outfits I had sent with friends a month before and had their hair beaded before meeting Papa for the first time. It was bittersweet to see the outfits and shoes so clean pressed and white with no scuff marks. I then knew they had waited to wear them for our special arrival even though they had desperately needed them the month before. This is how it is with all the kids. They don't have nice things. When/if they actually receive something nice, they will hoard and save it indefinitely in hopes that someday they will have a special reason to look and feel worthy of such niceness. My heart breaks for all of them. I am thankful our girls feel they had a reason to put on their special things, and that we have been able to grant them these moments. How we long for many, many, more! The rain came harder and we stood there holding each other with me pondering whether I should take them inside or up the hill to meet Eric. I felt that the girls were beginning to wonder if their Papa had actually come, and if so, why he wasn't as eager to meet them? So I decided it was best to show them, and not make Eric wait another minute either. I tried to tell them that Eric's foot was hurt, but the only word I could remember was "malad" which means "sick". So I told them his foot was sick, and they gave me a really weird look. Then I decided to drop the explanation since I didn't want them to think Eric was sick and that they couldn't be around him. We wetly convened with Eric and awkwardly helped him hobble down the hill. I can't wait for the girls to see him again as his normal athletic self, as who knows what they think right now about his crippled status!
When we reached a dry covering, Eric got to have his long awaited hugs. We then found out the girls had their own ideas and preparations to make our arrival even more special...well at least Marguerite did. Completely out of the blue, and oblivious to the rain or dozens of others around, she began to sway and sing every song she probably knows in English! All of it Christian worship music and childhood Sunday school songs! She held tightly to Berlinda's arm making sure she was engaged in the show as well. Berlinda didn't seem as enthusiastic but went along with it for awhile. It reminded me so much of how I was with my younger sister Eleisha at their age. Shortly after this scene we had another surprise....though we shouldn't have been too surprised. Berlinda told us frankly that her name was now "Delenda". I was like, "You've got to be kidding me!". The last time I had all her stuff monogrammed and labelled "Delenda" and she was mad about it and assured me her name was "Berlinda". So we had been trying to switch our brains to saying "Berlinda" for the past 2 months, and now it was "Delenda" again? We said, "How bout just "Linda"? She wasn't agreeable to this, and that is when Marguerite piped up and said "Esmee". So then I knew the girls had been able to decipher the letters I had sent them telling them the stories behind the names we liked for them, and asking them what they thought about that. I wrote the letters through the french creole translator on my computer, but I wasn't sure how well the girls read or if the translations were accurate. Evidently Marguerite can read, and they were accurate enough. Yea! Then she pointed to herself and said "Elita". I asked her if she liked the name "Elita" and she smiled big and shook her head yes several times. She kept repeating, "Elita Marguerite, Elita Marguerite" over and over, and I said "bèl"which means "pretty". I don't think Esmee is sure how she feels about it, what her real name is or how old she is (we aren't sure either), so she goes by a smorgasbord of names and ages right now! We have learned that this too is sometimes just how it is in Haiti. If the child was not born in a hospital, and if there are no relatives to give accurate facts, then kids like Esmee just don't know. Many of the adoptive families have had to deal with this issue, but it is a minor one in comparison.
We had an amazing week with the girls and enjoyed every minute of it. They are both definitely more secure with our match and we had some great conversations through the translator (about lots of things including the adoption process, their past, expectations, and hearts desires for when they finally come home.) Esmee quietly crept into my bunk and snuggled with me each night and I let her sleep in each morning. That girl can sleep through anything! Gotta get used to the feel of those beads on my arm though.
I miss that feeling now.
I woke up each morning to the sound of Marguerite rustling through my bags (You can see the top of her head doing just that below us in this picture). She was only in search of her outfit for the day, which she quickly learned I had in ample supply. Because I am not yet their Mom (I am in my heart and I believe in theirs, but not officially until we sign those papers!), I don't have control over many things I wish I did in their lives. But if I have the opportunity to give my girls a clean change of clothes every day for a week, and food to eat throughout the day, I am going to take it! They did not protest one little bit either, except for the time that they wanted to switch dresses and the pink one was clearly too small for Marguerite and the blue one was clearly too big for Esmee! My friends told me it wasn't too early to start winning that battle and to put my foot down. I did, and the girls obliged me with only a tiny pout from Esmee who already had on the blue dress.
Eric was able to build a great relationship with Pastor Fritz (who is also the director of the orphanage and our acting agency handling our paperwork). The moment we arrived, they hit it off, and Pastor asked Eric to speak at his church the next morning. We went to church as a family about an hour away from the orphanage (Last time I attended church at the orphanage with the girls).
The girls got to hear their future Dad preach for the first time through Pastor's translation. Eric is such a natural with the people, and we both loved our time with them. We found out later that one person from the small congregation accepted Christ through the sermon that morning! Eric rode around with Pastor several times throughout the week. He was able to go check out the land site (already purchased) for the new orphanage and church. The building they are currently in is only rented through this December. We are praying the girls (and many of their friends) will be home by then! This is going to be an ongoing project many of the families in our area are supporting and planning to help with long after our children are home.
I thought leaving the girls would be even more difficult this time. However, they seemed so happy with the load of loot (my sleeping bag, fan, art supplies, clothes, and the rest of the food) we were leaving with them, and so secure from the conversations we had been able to have through the translator, that we believe they were not as worried this time about us returning for them. Our girls are a perfect match for our family. We know that, and we believe they know that too! They say they can't wait to come home and meet their brothers (and Marguerite has begged us to let her take a jazz dance class...she absolutely loves to perform!) They were sad, as were we, but we all felt a peace that surpasses all understanding surrounding us.
We now face the long wait (and it seems we have already been waiting an eternity since we initially thought they would be coming on humanitarian parole before now). Our paperwork (dossier) was delivered by friends on May 15th, and we are busy trying to raise the remaining $3,000 (out of $6,000) to cover the initial adoption deposit for attorney fees and so that our paperwork can continue to be processed for the adoptions. This amount was due when we turned in our dossier, yet we do not yet have the funds to send for the remaining $3,000. We have spent another $6,000 on our dossier paperwork, U.S. adoption fees, and costs associated with our trips to Haiti. We are very grateful to all those that have contributed to these required (and desired) trips to meet our girls, and especially for the sweet family that donated all the air miles necessary for Eric and I to fly in June. We will owe another $6,000 at the time our adoptions are officially completed. When all is said and done these adoptions will end up costing between $20-$25,000. We have no idea exactly where the remaining funds will come from as we have currently depleted all our accounts already on this process. Yet, as I stated in a previous post, we did not know that we would have to travel this road when we committed to this process We are thankful we didn't know, or we probably would never have had the privilege of walking this road, getting to know and love two amazing girls and so many others. We are now doing our very best to raise the money needed in many ways, and know that $25,000 is not so much to He that owns the cattle on 1,000 hills!
Good news! We came home to our official document from the U.S. Department of Homeland Security granting us approval for "advance processing of orphan petition" or official permission from the U.S. to adopt. This is a very long process, and we have had our fill of paperwork and fees for this and that. Please pray for endurance as we continue to seek God's will and grace during this difficult time for our family. Some days are filled with so much joy and hope for the future. Others are filled with disappointment, reports that we wish we hadn't received, and longer to-do list just to make it to the next step. Haiti is one of the more difficult countries to adopt from, and the list of requirements is mind boggling and exhausting. We are so very thankful and blessed to have so many dear families in our area that are on this journey with us. I don't know how we would have managed without their support, and encouragement. We continue to meet for fellowship at least once a month, e-mail progress reports on our children on a daily basis, and collectively pray together in our own homes on Monday nights. What a blessing these families have been and will continue to be as we raise our kids together. We are all praying that our kids are home by Christmas! This is a real possibility, but will require much prayer and cooperation from all parties (offices in Haiti) involved in the process for this to become a reality. Please, please, continue to pray!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)