We received some discouraging news regarding our adoption process on Friday. I opened my e-mail Friday night to find a report from the U.S. Embassy in Haiti saying that the DNA test results did not confirm the parental relationship between the birth father and adoptive child and that because of this they were unable to make a favorable determination as to her orphan status at this time. Although it is now clear that because her mother is dead and the man married to her mother who is on her birth certificate is not found to be her father, that she has no one and is in every way a true orphan. Unfortunately, true orphans are often harder to adopt than those who have been relinquished for adoption by their parents or due to abandonment. At least on the Haiti side of the paperwork. The U.S. side (immigration) doesn't like to see any parents involved in the process. But in our case even though there are no living or eligible parents (since both our girls mother's are deceased and neither mother was married to the now unknown birth fathers), we would have to go back through the Haiti system to get the paperwork the U.S. wants to see in order for immigration to happen. And getting that paperwork done on the Haiti side is what has taken the past two years to accomplish. So to say the past few days have been difficult to "be anxious for nothing" is an understatement. Haiti has already approved our adoptions. Pretty much the only thing we had left in our process was to gain approval for the passorts and visas to be issued. This type of thing has happened to friends of ours adopting in other countries as well. You can get all the way through another countries long and difficult process (who don't want to adopt out their children) and then have trouble with our own country granting us permission to bring the kids home. It is such. a. mess. There are unanswered questions and we are patiently waiting and seeking out those answers at this time. There are options...just not any we are super excited about pursuing. We are shaken. We could choose to be angry with those processing our adoptions, with our own U.S. government, with UNICEF who do their very best to make adoption impossible, with the overall anti-adoption system, with time lost, and most of all with the injustice of keeping children from the families that love them. But we knew getting into this that it was a battle. And we know that this battle "is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places". This fight is not against human beings. There are spiritual forces against us. And then there is our great and faithful God who calls us to fight His battle. This is His battle. He has always been faithful to us. Sometimes we do not understand His ways, but we trust His ways. His ways are higher than ours. His plan is better than ours. We can grieve our futile plans all we want, but every victory is His. We will remember all He has done to get us to this time and place. We will remember that He has never once left our side.
"Never Once"
Standing on this mountaintop looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step, You were with us
Kneeling on this battle ground seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory was Your power in us
Scars and struggles on the way but with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say...
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Kneeling on this battle ground seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory was Your power in us
Scars and struggles on the way but with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Scars and struggles on the way but with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Standing in church yesterday hand in hand in between my daughters, softly singing the words of this song with tears in our eyes...this was God's gentle reminder to dwell on His faithfulness. This is His battle. These are His children. And never once will He let them go.
Please pray for us now. We would also like to ask for prayer for our family members that are also facing much discouragement at this time. My sister Eleisha is having her second surgery to try to keep her baby this Wednesday morning. It is a risky surgery this late in the pregnancy. Eleisha's marriage is also a serious matter of prayer. Please pray for wisdom, strength, and peace for her during this difficult time. Please pray for my brother in law to be truly repentant and reconciled to his family. Pray for protection over the hearts of our little nieces as well.
My sister Erin and her husband Jesse (whom we lived with for a few months before moving to Haiti) have been facing many struggles as they seek to love and care for the children God has placed in their home through foster care. They have experienced an incredible amount of grief in watching the children they love (and hoped to be able to adopt) being crushed by the system that in no way has sought the best interest of the children. Please pray for God's sovereign protection over the two little ones currently in their care and for the grace to get through each day for Erin and Jesse. Please also pray that God will soon give them a child of their own either through conception or adoption. It is so hard to be far away when your family is grieving. This is one reason why the latest news on our adoptions is so discouraging. We were really hoping to be able to travel home in June to be with family and have time to obtain our girls U.S. passports before we needed to return to Haiti in August. This now looks less likely. But once again, we know that His plans are better than ours. And never once have His plans not turned out for our benefit...even though we may have to endure suffering and pain to discover that benefit...the joy of knowing Him more. Never once. We pray that all these things will be a testimony to the watching world that "in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us". We did nothing to deserve His love. We can do nothing to earn His love. He suffered for us. He first loved us. Can we expect that we shouldn't have to suffer for His namesake? Pray that we will suffer well and never once fail to remember what He has suffered to adopt us. Will you remember that with us today?
Oh, Dear Elisabeth, my heart weeps for you and your family and the kids. You are strong and grounded, don't loose sight, hope, or focus. You are so right in that HE has the ultimate plan for our lives and can do miracles. :) You and yours are still in my prayers. We love you!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about the latest bit of discouraging news. I have no words. I'm sure you are battle-weary at this time. Praying for peace over you today. I wish there was more that I could do.
ReplyDelete:( This is hard and horrible news for sure - we'll be praying for your case.
ReplyDeleteSometimes i think cliche christian-ese type vernacular can be somewhat hurtful when tossed out without sensitivity --- and I am admittedly totally WARY of speaking in a way that is trite or can come across as uncaring - (like lots of cliche Christian speak does) -- So know that I don't say this with any tone of superiority or knowing what you feel --- not at all .... I only ever know that in these horse-shit situations that I have to keep remembering the size of the mountain MOVER rather than the size of the mountain ... It sounds (reads) like you're doing that really well to me.
In a frail second hand way we all bear this pain with you and will be praying for continued focus on and help from the mountain mover.
Dear Ones~ This blog is such a wonderful expression of vulnerability and faith. I cannot fathom what your hearts are experiencing right now. I AM praying.
ReplyDelete2 Chron. 20:12 Our GOd, will You not judge them? For we are powerless before this vast multitude that come [to fight] against us. We do not know what to do, but we look to you.
2Corn 4:7-9 Now we have this treasure in clay jars, so that this extraordinary power may be from GOd and not from us We are pressured in every way but not crushed; we are perplexes but not in despair; we are persecuted but not abandoned; we are struck down but not destroyed.
It is not of God that children unable to be cared for my their biological parents not be cared for by someone. God sees........God knows............may He pull you into his embrace........wisper into your spirit his love for each of you.....and may He move boldly on the girl's behalf! OUR GOD IS ABLE! Can't write anymore.....can't see the keyboard for the tears. Love to all. Melanie
This is the first time reading your blog. A good friend of mine sent me to it( they are in the process of adopting from Haiti). I am so sorry to hear about these latest happenings in your process. We have been home with our(special needs, older) daughter from the Philippines for almost a year and half now. I have many friends who have went through the process or are in the process and I have become quite jaded with the US gov't and UNICEF during this time. SO your story is breaking my heart yet infuriating me at the same time. Oh and on a side note, we also sang that same song in church Sunday. So I stood and sang those words too and teared up at the tough road we have had the past year and half, but I was also was experiencing tears of joy for the following reason. We started the adoption process in 2009 with another family at our church and this Weds. they are finally traveling to China to get their daughter. Your post here has made me think so much of them. They were in the Nepal program,dossier sent in, like 17th on the waiting list and then the US shut them down. Because the US doesn't understand that people just don't go down to the court house in some of these other countries and get the birth certificate 4 weeks after delivery and the systems just aren't the same. Don't even get me started. And my friend has now become a voice to alert the world as to what is happening with international adoption, because she has seen the ugly side of it first hand. So this family lost all the money they had invested and were left confused, angry and heartbroken. They eventually decided to try the China SN program and that's where they will be headed tomorrow. But I thought of them in that song. What a horrendous journey they have had but finally, finally they were going to be able to meet their daughter. I have learned in the past year that just because God calls you to something does NOT mean it will be easy. Can I get an amen?? Sigh. But he does not ask us to understand, just to trust- which is so very hard isn't it? And your comments about a battle going on is right on and rings very true to me and our experience thus far. Praying for the girls and for your family.
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